Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
