i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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