Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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