All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
