so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
