I'm drive I can fine osifer
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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