this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
