I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
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