just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Let's get the cat blown out
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
