She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
