So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
