honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
