i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
