Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
