KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
