Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
