don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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