i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
