Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
