You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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