there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
