Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
