somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
