I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The struggles of a small town man whore
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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