"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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