So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
