dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
