Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
