i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
She's the barista slut.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
