she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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