All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
