you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
