Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
