the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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