There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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