I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
