Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
