I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
