I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
