It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
