in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
