I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
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