But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
