nut hugger
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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