you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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