White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
