I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
