brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
