My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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