If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I want a musical about memes.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
