you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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