At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
