you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
